A window into our Saturday

Here is a quick peek into our Saturday. Cheetos and all.
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Noah is occupying himself in the living room and Connor is working on slides for worship on Sunday evening. That big ol’ stack of papers to the right of the picture are my household management/budgeting things that I was working on until I took this much needed blogging break. I’m also, as you can see, finally getting a chance to catch up on American Idol. Yay! Connor says he’s sick of the show, there’s too much hype, there are no good singers, and there’s NO way he’s watching it with me…but as you can see, it sucks him in every time (although he’ll endlessly deny it). :) I love that man.

Noah is busy crawling like crazy. He doesn’t get into much. Except for everything he’s not supposed to get into. Just a second ago though, he did help me out quite a bit with the laundry.

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Such a helper. On my to do list today? Fold and put away our laundry (that my sweet husband washed earlier this morning while I was still snoozing. Is he not the best?), get our budget up to date, clean our room, do the dishes, and love on my family. It’s shaping up to be a great day in my book. :)

Happy Saturday, friends! I hope you enjoy your family today!

Oh! And look forward to more posts this week. I have things planned both on marriage and budget and I can’t wait to share. :)

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Be Still and Know

The end of Saturday night I was an absolute basket case.
Noah had a COUGH.
It started in the morning when he woke up. *ahem* That’s literally what his little cough sounded like. Very dry and very harmless. But I knew he had the whooping cough. Seriously. And he had a red spot on the back of his neck and his eye looked swollen! And. And. And. We were going to be in the emergency room in seconds – I just knew it! I was driving Connor crazy, “Did he just cough AGAIN?!” and “Connor I think he’s choking. Did you hear that? Look at this eye. No, he’s really sick. We need to take him to the doctor. NOW.” To which he would reply calmly and reassuringly. But I wasn’t having it. Enter full-blown panic mode.
I watched him like a hawk. And, you may be surprised to know, that he ended that night peacefully sleeping in his crib. No cough (the nurse I had called earlier said, considering his age, he’s probably just imitating those around him…I dismissed what she said because, LIKE I SAID, he HAD whooping cough.), no swollen eye, no red spot. He was (and had been all day) fine.
This seems to happen to me a lot. I work myself into an absolute frenzy. Usually, over nothing. I do it to Connor concerning our finances, big-kid choices and our priorities. I almost always think something is wrong and we need to fix it and fix it now! I push myself mentally until I become a basket of nerves.
I think this is why the hymns  “Be Still My Soul” and “Be Still and Know” have always been two of my favorites.
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I let my mind get so busy and wrapped up that it can’t (or won’t) hear my heart pleading for mercy, quiet and recovery.
When I sing these songs, my mind gets quiet. It is a beautiful thing. When I’m singing for myself or during worship, I mean. Toootally different story if someone is listening.
When Noah has a particularly rough night and I’m rocking him at 3 a.m. I always find myself singing,
“Be still and know that I am God,
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God”
In those moments I remember. I am still and I know. I wish it didn’t take 3 a.m. to get me there.
God is so good. I just need to be still and know. And I need to do it much more often than I do currently. 2014 resolution?! I think yes!

I hope that amidst the flurry of happiness and activity, you find time to quiet your soul and know that He is God.

Merry Christmas Eve Ya’ll!!

The Perfect Fifteen

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This happened tonight. After waking up from some painful gas bubbles, Noah got a good burp in and snuggled back into my shoulder for a good fifteen minutes. Would you believe it if I told you he hardly ever does that anymore? My sweet sweet little huggable bundle is NOT a cuddler! He is a busy caterpillar. Always wriggling.

So that made those fifteen peaceful minutes of full on Noah cuddles such a blessing. And worthy of documentation.

I L O V E being his mom. He is perfect.

Baby update

Today marks 25 weeks and 3 days  of pregnancy. Shoot.

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It has been quite the experience.

Weeks 1-20:

I was sick constantly. I threw up every morning and dealt with nausea the majority of every day. I was exhausted and cranky. Poor Connor. :) He was so sweet to me though, no matter what. He couldn’t keep his excitement about Baby under wraps. I, however, was so moody that excitement did not jump first to my brain.  I was also irritated because I had been at the “oh, she had a bigger lunch than she should have” stage forevvvverrrr! I was ready to look pregnant! Work was exhausting and  I was always behind. These first months went very slowly…but strangely fast at the same time.

Weeks 21- 25 weeks:

THE BEST WEEKS EVER!!! I finally look pregnant. :) My morning sickness has vanished. We found out that our bundle of love is a precious BOY! The day after we found out about his masculinity, he started kicking me with a vengeance. I seriously could not have been more ecstatic. I woke Connor up at 5am one morning to feel baby boy’s mighty kicks. We both absolutely overflowed with love for the little guy. He always seems to know when I’m thinking about him (which is all the time) because as soon as I start dreaming and planning for his little arrival, he starts kicking. I love him so much already!!

We go back on March 15th for another ultrasound and CANNOT wait to see our son again!! At the last ultrasound, he gave us the cutest/biggest yawn ever! Melted my heart.

Now:

Connor and I have been praying and waiting on God for guidance on our future ever since we found out (surprise!) I was pregnant. Financially, we are not set up to live in our dream city (Colorado Springs) and raise a baby the way we want to. Our first value in life is family, and if we lived here during baby boy’s first few years, we would both need to work full time jobs and use family as our every day babysitters. That just broke my heart because all I’ve ever wanted to be is a wife and mommy.

It wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that God really started molding our hearts and showing us his plan. We hadn’t been ready to let go of this beautiful city and state. Recently though, God has changed our perspectives. Before, the thought of moving to South Dakota, where my parents live, was so depressing, because of how much we love it here. But, we began to look closely at our values and, like I said, family came out on top every time. We began to see South Dakota as a way out of the crazy busy life we would have no choice but to live if we stayed here. There is a much greater chance that I will not have to work during our son’s first years and Connor will have a job that is not retail and does not require him to work nights and weekends. We could be a family that not only loved each other, but had time for each other!

So, Connor, baby boy, and I will be moving to South Dakota this summer. The only question is….when exactly. My teaching contract ends on May 31st. Our lease ends May 31st. Baby is due June 12. We can either move when I’m 38 weeks pregnant (Yikes.) or wait until the little buddy decides to show up and move after. There are so many variables that we can’t predict that, at this moment, it feels impossible to know when the best time to move would be. So now the focus of our prayers are, “When in the world should we move?!?!?”

The first half of my pregnancy was fairly dominated by wacky nerves and anxiety. With God’s help and guidance on our future, that is thankfully not the case with the second half.

“But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You.” Psalm 5:11

contentment

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.  But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.” 1 Timothy 6:6-8

God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. In our case, it’s a baby. WOAH! :) Although I have had my share of anxious moments (How are we going to financially support this baby?  Will I keep working? Will we move?), I have never been more excited about what’s to come. It is my job to pray, have faith, and never lose hope. God will take care of the rest. And that, has brought me so much contentment.

stability vs eagerness

While I’m currently pawing around for a career and hoping like crazy I’m going to be good at something in the professional world…my deepest desire is to be good at loving Connor and I’s future kiddos. I want to keep house, bake birthday cakes, and build blanket forts. If I can be good at that, then I will have accomplished something. I want to teach them to share, to care, and respect.  And if they learn, through the way their parents love each other and serve others, that there is a mighty and awesome God…then my life will have been worthwhile.

Yes. Connor and I want to start our family. I want a bundle of joy so bad I could cry! One of the first things I loved about Connor was his commitment to family. His desire for his own and the importance he placed on family time. When we were engaged I dreamed up a life that had a pretty specific timeline. Marriage, honeymoon, baby, perfection. There wasn’t much wiggle room. It wasn’t until after we did the marriage and honeymoon part that I understood that the baby part of my plan involved a lot more than just getting pregnant.

Connor and I have spent the first six months of our marriage learning how to love each other and how to balance our check book. I have spent a lot of my life being bad with money. I have a natural spend-it mentality. Right now though, paying the bills and buying groceries take up just about all we get. I am learning that money is a precious commodity that can take away or bring so much peace. I have determined that I want it to bring peace. Connor and I have been praying for wisdom and discernment to help us be good stewards of our money. It’s not easy. And…I wouldn’t say we are good stewards yet…but we’re working at it.

I think our child deserves to come into a peaceful home. A home of financial stability and spiritual strength. To provide our children with these things feels like a tall order right now, but an indispensable one. I can wait a little longer to start our family off on the right foot.

Ultimately, God is in control. Connor and I will start a family when God decides we should start a family. All we can do right now is pray, lay out our heart’s desires, listen, and walk forward along the path we are called.