When they won’t. stop. crying.

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We were 15 minutes into our drive home and my two boys were in the middle of an “I’m more upset AND I’m louder” battle with no end in sight. With 15 more minutes of our ride to go, I juuuust about lost it.

In these kinds of brain rattling situations I always find myself in prayer. Prayers of desperation, usually. “Pleeeease let them stop crying. Bring their little bodies peace and healing. Give me strength to act appropriately and patience.” Repeat, repeat, repeat.

That particular day, in the middle of repeating this prayer for the 6th time, I realized that these moments of mommy desperation that bring me to my knees more often than any other moment, are opportunities to cover Micah and Noah in life-bringing prayers. Prayers for their future, their souls, their strengths and weaknesses. If I can just be aware of those moments when I feel overwhelmed and then switch my focus to things that matter in Christ’s kingdom, I can intercede spiritually on my children’s behalf  and ask Christ to bless them with the love and protection that is only available through him. That simple change of perspective has also helped me treat my children with the respect and love they deserve in those moments, which is so much better for them then the dying fumes of a mother overwhelmed.

Rather than focusing on what is temporary, shouldn’t we spend our time focusing on “kingdom” things? Things that are REAL and LASTING? When kids won’t stop crying, when dinner is terrible (again), when you run out of money for the month, when things just stink….it is so easy to pray. And you should pray. But choose your words and focus carefully, if you can. Prayer is powerful and we should be careful where we spend the majority of our time in it.

It is embarrassing that I have lifted “moments” up to Christ more often than I have lifted my precious children’s salvation. But that is about to change!

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Joy and Thankfulness

I know I should have that birth story up by now. But. You know. Something about a toddler and a baby. It’ll show up here eventually. Promise. ;)

I miss blogging regularly. So I’m dropping in to give you a “life currently” post.

I was way cocky before having Micah. I thought I could handle two kids, no problem. WRONG. Currently, I have been unable to….

Since writing that last half-sentence I have changed three diapers, been thrown up on, spit up on (yes, there is a difference), peed on, intercepted a meltdown via a nap, and nursed Micah. So I imagine you get the idea of where I was headed before the interruption.

I so was not prepared for this new phase of motherhood.

I can tell you though, that there is an ever-growing joy and thankfulness in this kind of all-out exhausting effort of love. Thankfulness for help from family,  joy of new-ness.

And that is all I have time for this morning. Joy and thankfulness.

Hello, hormones.

I have spent the last couple of days in awe of those super mommies who have four kids in four years. Like. Major awe.

Yesterday my mother left the house for a half hour (which was my first time alone with the two kiddos) and it took everything in me not to ugly cry when she walked back in the door.

Inevitably, they had both woken up as soon as she drove off. And they both needed me. Right then. Noah didn’t understand why he had to share my lap with Micah (who I was feeding) and so, he started crying and trying to hit his little brother. Then Micah started crying. When Noah realized I was not going to put Micah down, nor was he going to get a larger piece of my lap, he jumped up and started walking around the living room sniffling and looking completely neglected. So my mommy heart just broke and I spent the rest of the day feeling bad for bringing another human into the world and interrupting Noah’s childhood. How can I love Noah the same way as before? How does Micah fit into this picture? I mourned the loss of constant one-on-one time with my child.

Yes, I realize the craziness of those feelings. I know my firstborn will be just fine, and that my life is even richer now that I have two perfect sons. But I definitely did not feel that way yesterday. Hello, post-pregnancy hormones. I also felt the need to wake Connor up in the middle of the night to cry and tell him what a great dad and husband he was, how much I appreciate him, and how sorry I was for not being a good wife and blah blah. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember, considering how late it was and how my babbling could have easily been confused for an incoherent newborn crying.

Change is hard for me. I thought the transition from a family of three to a family of four would be easy (because apparently, I’m crazy). But it’s okay that it’s not. This too shall pass. And I find a lot of hope in the fact that I am called to wait on the Lord for strength. I might not have a lot of emotional strength right now, but I am praying and waiting and I know that strength will come.

Soon, I will not feel like crying when left alone with my two little ones. But for now, I am overwhelmed. And for the moment, that is okay. I’ll just wait and wonder how those super mommies do it.

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He’s here!

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Micah Nolan Boyce has arrived. He was born on September 11, at 10:23 pm after only 15 minutes of pushing. At 8 lbs and 15 oz, all the nurses were exclaiming at how “big” he was (I didn’t think 8 lbs was considered big?!). Since he came so fast, he didn’t have a chance to squeeze some excessive fluid out of his lungs and we live at a fairly high altitude, hence the oxygen He should be off it by next week.  Keep watch for his birth story soon!!

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Basically 40 weeks

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So. On Sunday we will hit 40 weeks with baby Micah.

I am literally dying to meet him. Please come soon Micah-bear!!

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I have actually been feeling great, despite lots of braxton hicks and contractions. Which probably means he’s not in any hurry to arrive…ugh. Hello, past-due baby.

At last weeks appointment I was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Which is all good and great except that at this weeks appointment there had been no change (insert emotional pregnant tears).

IMG_1281While I am so excited for baby #2 to join our family, I am doing my best to soak up all the one-on-one time I can give to Noah now. I love our days together. His personality is becoming more evident every day and his brain is constantly amazing me. This morning, he found a lint roller and started de-linting a bean bag chair because he had seen someone else do it a couple days prior. He is such a little genius!! He can say hot (which is always accompanied by him blowing on whatever he thinks is ‘hot’), mama, dad, dog, and a bunch of other words that I absolutely cannot understand yet – but that he is very sure about. ;) Everything he “says” is so specific and commanding. He may have some (or a lot) of his momma’s bossy side. And a healthy dose of his dad’s outrageous-ness. Connor’s nickname growing up was “screaming warrior.” It fits Noah to a T. He screams about evvvverything. Oh boy.

Connor and I have also been doing our best not to take this time for granted. We have very much enjoyed our quiet evenings together after Noah is in bed. I know we won’t have many of those after we add a newborn into the mix. I love sleep and sanity, and I am LOVING that I have both at the moment. I realize those luxuries will pass. And return. I hope.

Maybe next week I will be able to introduce you to the newest member of our family!! <3

On the mend and all the laundry

Finally. FINALLY. Things are starting to freshen up around here. Noah is feeling dandy and his molars broke through. Hallelujah! Connor is still sick with the throat plague or something (the urgent care doctor we took him to wasn’t too concerned about actually diagnosing him, he just threw some antibiotics our way for Connor to take “if we think he needs it.” Say whaaa?) But, he is (hopefully) over the peak and on his way to health.

So, after being stuck in my house since last Wednesday, leaving only for emergency ibuprofen or milk runs, I am SO excited to be back to a normal routine. And normal housework. Funny how even though I’ve been home this whole time, all the things like laundry, vacuuming, and general cleaning have fallen on the wayside. I’ve had other things on my mind. ;)

My only goal today: deep-clean my house from top to bottom. We have a fresh new baby coming and I can’t bear the thought of having any sickness hanging around once he gets here. And if I accomplish that…then I would like to make some homemade bread (hah.). But really.

Oh and look for a bumpdate next week!! We’ll be 38 weeks and I will actually have my hospital bags packed by then. Until then: a little bathroom selfie with the big brother…

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Weekend Recap

This weekend was another one for the books.

On Friday, we enjoyed some seriously choice pizza from Domino’s (their hand-tossed crust is so unbelievably good!) and family time.  Loved it.

 

Saturday, Connor set Micah’s crib up. I almost cried when I walked into the boys’ nursery. It is the sweetest thing to see the two cribs next to each other and to feel the general coziness of the room. I can’t wait to have Micah here. Connor and I both are so giddy to add this little boy to our family. And since I am officially 37 weeks, he can come AAAAnnytime! We’re ready for you buddy!!

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Saturday evening was a different story.

Noah has been pretty sick. On Thursday, he had an all-body rash, fever, and sore throat. I took him to his pediatrician that day (I am definitely not one of those people who wait to “see how things go.” I will jump immediately on anything strange and scoot us all to the doctor. #notashamed) and she said it was probably just viral, but if his throat got worse or the rash turned to blisters, to bring him back in.

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By Saturday afternoon I had a little boy so miserable I didn’t know what to do. He was bawling his eyes out at everything. He would run into my lap to lay his head on my shoulder for a few seconds to cry and then run off again (aaannd repeat every 30 seconds). But the rash hadn’t gotten any worse and his throat seemed the same to me. That evening though, I heard from a friend we had had a play date with earlier that week, that her sweet girl had strep. So after a few moments of overwhelmed mommy-blubber to my husband about what to do, he put us all in the car (around 6:30pm )and drove us to an urgent care facility. I’m so thankful for a husband who can make decisions when I can’t.  When we got back in the car at 8:30 pm, we knew that Noah did NOT have strep but he certainly had hand foot and mouth. Poor poor baby. :( It was a long night. But, shoot, it had been a long week, so no big deal.

But guys. After waking up at 5 a.m. yesterday morning, having a little snack and falling back asleep at 5:30…HE SLEPT UNTIL 10:30!!!!!!! Unreal. UNREAL. I woke up at 10, completely disoriented. But after sprinting to Noah’s room and seeing a peacefully  sleeping babe I fell back into bed with the biggest smile on my face. God knew I needed to sleep. I NEEEDED to sleep.

The rest of Sunday was dreamy…mostly. Noah was obviously feeling much better and so was mommy. After he got back from church, Connor made a few comments about being a little tired and achy but we didn’t think much of it. Until 4:30pm, that is. I walked into our (un-air conditioned) living room to see my husband wrapped in a blanket. Weird. So I took his temperature. It was 100 degrees. I immediately gave him Tylenol but every half hour his temperature had jumped another degree. By 6:30 it was 104. I was absolutely panicking. Thankfully, Noah had been exhausted from such a busy day and went down at 6. After three Ibuprofen and a lot of desperate prayer, the fever finally started to go down. By 9pm he was back to his normal self. But gosh. That scared me. We still don’t know why that happened or whether the fever will come back…

We will see how today goes. Prayers would be so appreciated. Two sick boys and a preggo wife make for quite the scene.