Micah’s birth story

I have two kids. That just throws me for a loop. A wonderful, terrifying, very real loop.

Noah and Micah’s birth story are so different.

You can read Noah’s, here.

Being pregnant with Micah was a breeze. I was constantly surprised at how easy the whole pregnancy was, and yet I was READY to for him to arrive right at the 37 week mark. I could not wait to see this precious little boy I would get to love and nurture. But Micah, was not as eager as his mommy.

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At our 40 week appointment I laughed with the receptionist about how this would definitely be the last time I would see her and how I would most certainly cry if I had to show up to my 41 week appointment.

It wasn’t the last time I saw her. Hello, 41 weeks. And, while the receptionist and I laughed about it, I certainly did feel like crying.

My appointment went very smoothly. My body was progressing very well and it looked like labor could be later that day or later next week (hah). My midwife asked if we had thought about being induced. I had been induced with Noah and knew that I DEFINITELY did not want to be induced with baby #2. My labor with Noah had been awful.

You will imagine my surprise then, when I walked out of that appointment with an induction scheduled for the next day. After my midwife and I had talked through the process and the pros and cons, I had decided to move forward with induction again. I fought all day with my emotions of whether it was the right thing to do or not. There are so many valid opinions out there for and against induction.

I wasn’t even going to include the fact that I was induced on this post because I feel a little ashamed of the fact that neither of my babies came on their own time. All the birth stories I’ve read have been about beautiful natural births. So many mothers are proud of their natural births, while I chose induction for my children. It’s not like I intended on making those choices beforehand, but during my conversations with the medical professionals I dealt with during both pregnancies, I was encouraged to view induction as a viable option each time. I do not regret being induced with Micah or Noah but I am afraid of being judged harshly for my choices. However, that is what happened and it would be silly for me to hide it, although I’d totally rather hide it and not deal with people having opinions about it.

So at 5:00 AM, on Thursday September 11 Connor and I woke up, knowing we would meet our second son that day (although I still wasn’t 100% convinced he wasn’t a girl – ultrasounds can totally be wrong, right?!).

We left Noah with my parents and made our way to the hospital. I had a granola bar for breakfast. Which was a terrible idea. When you are preparing for labor, you should eat filling and protein-rich food to fuel your body. I SHOULD know that, considering this is my second time, but, you know, I just must be a total air head. I think I drove the nurses crazy because I told them at least once an hour that I was starving and could NOT wait to eat.

We arrived at the hospital at 8:00AM and were checked into THE SAME ROOM I delivered Noah in. It was one of those things that calms and fills up your heart. All of our surroundings were familiar and we had the best of memories there. They have like 30 labor and delivery rooms at this hospital. What are the odds?

They got me hooked up to a low drip of Pitocin right away and Connor and I settled in to watch a few episodes of Chuck (available on Netflix and absolutely my favorite TV series that my husband and I have watched together. Love love love.).  It was really nice to have a quiet morning for the two of us to talk and dream about what our family was about to become.

Around noon my contractions were coming more regularly and I was dilated to a 4. I wasn’t having any pain with my contractions, just feeling super excited to meet my baby!

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I believe the midwife came back around 2pm and broke my water. A super comfortable and non-painful procedure. Not.

The pain started coming almost immediately afterwards. My contractions picked up big time and it wasn’t an hour later I was enthusiastically flagging down the anesthesiologist. I tried really hard to have Noah without an epidural and ended up exhausting myself mentally and physically which made pushing absolutely miserable. This time around, I was all for relief as soon as that pain started getting real. I am not about that “all natural” life. Nope. But seriously, I am in absolute awe of the women who can and do this process without pain relievers.

I had the best anesthesiologist in the entire hospital. I am absolutely sure of it. I had no pain whatsoever and I could even move my legs freely. Epidurals are usually much more restrictive than that. The nurses couldn’t believe I had as much mobility as I did. I felt completely relaxed and ready to have this baby. It was totally different from before Noah’s arrival and I am so thankful it was.

At 9:00PM I started feeling the “pressure.” My midwife checked me again and, sure enough, I was 10 cm dilated and 100% effaced. She said Micah’s head was slightly turned and not completely lined up with the birth canal so we would wait a little while before pushing so that the Micah could “labor down” on his own. Which was completely genius. I loved my midwife SO MUCH. Every call she made during labor was exactly right.

At 10:15pm it was go-time. Connor and I high-fived and got focused. I was mentally prepared for over an hour of pushing so after only a few pushes (6?) my mouth hit the floor when my midwife said, “Okay, we’re going to have this baby with the next contraction.” Whaat?! She was totally right, and Micah was born at 10:36 PM and placed right on my chest (and I was finally convinced that he was, definitely, a boy).

Having Micah Nolan Boyce was the easiest thing I have ever done (not really, but you get the picture).  As he was getting checked over by the nurses, I looked at Connor and exclaimed, “We should have AT LEAST six kids if it’s going to be that easy!” I was obviously high on endorphins and completely crazed, but maybe not.

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Micah was 8 lbs. 15 oz. One ounce away from nine pounds. The midwives had all told me he was sure to be a seven pound baby. Instead, I had this whopping almost nine-pounder. Every single nurse we came in contact with commented on how big he was. Really. All of them. Because he was so “big” he had difficulty controlling his blood sugar and because he came so quickly he still had fluid in his lungs. Those two factors led to a couple night stay in the NICU. I did not feel anxiety about it because I knew my son was healthy and in the most capable hands he could be.

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Needless to say, when Connor and I finally got to take Micah home on Sunday and hug both of our boys, our hearts were totally and completely full.

 

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Hello, hormones.

I have spent the last couple of days in awe of those super mommies who have four kids in four years. Like. Major awe.

Yesterday my mother left the house for a half hour (which was my first time alone with the two kiddos) and it took everything in me not to ugly cry when she walked back in the door.

Inevitably, they had both woken up as soon as she drove off. And they both needed me. Right then. Noah didn’t understand why he had to share my lap with Micah (who I was feeding) and so, he started crying and trying to hit his little brother. Then Micah started crying. When Noah realized I was not going to put Micah down, nor was he going to get a larger piece of my lap, he jumped up and started walking around the living room sniffling and looking completely neglected. So my mommy heart just broke and I spent the rest of the day feeling bad for bringing another human into the world and interrupting Noah’s childhood. How can I love Noah the same way as before? How does Micah fit into this picture? I mourned the loss of constant one-on-one time with my child.

Yes, I realize the craziness of those feelings. I know my firstborn will be just fine, and that my life is even richer now that I have two perfect sons. But I definitely did not feel that way yesterday. Hello, post-pregnancy hormones. I also felt the need to wake Connor up in the middle of the night to cry and tell him what a great dad and husband he was, how much I appreciate him, and how sorry I was for not being a good wife and blah blah. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember, considering how late it was and how my babbling could have easily been confused for an incoherent newborn crying.

Change is hard for me. I thought the transition from a family of three to a family of four would be easy (because apparently, I’m crazy). But it’s okay that it’s not. This too shall pass. And I find a lot of hope in the fact that I am called to wait on the Lord for strength. I might not have a lot of emotional strength right now, but I am praying and waiting and I know that strength will come.

Soon, I will not feel like crying when left alone with my two little ones. But for now, I am overwhelmed. And for the moment, that is okay. I’ll just wait and wonder how those super mommies do it.

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Basically 40 weeks

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So. On Sunday we will hit 40 weeks with baby Micah.

I am literally dying to meet him. Please come soon Micah-bear!!

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I have actually been feeling great, despite lots of braxton hicks and contractions. Which probably means he’s not in any hurry to arrive…ugh. Hello, past-due baby.

At last weeks appointment I was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Which is all good and great except that at this weeks appointment there had been no change (insert emotional pregnant tears).

IMG_1281While I am so excited for baby #2 to join our family, I am doing my best to soak up all the one-on-one time I can give to Noah now. I love our days together. His personality is becoming more evident every day and his brain is constantly amazing me. This morning, he found a lint roller and started de-linting a bean bag chair because he had seen someone else do it a couple days prior. He is such a little genius!! He can say hot (which is always accompanied by him blowing on whatever he thinks is ‘hot’), mama, dad, dog, and a bunch of other words that I absolutely cannot understand yet – but that he is very sure about. ;) Everything he “says” is so specific and commanding. He may have some (or a lot) of his momma’s bossy side. And a healthy dose of his dad’s outrageous-ness. Connor’s nickname growing up was “screaming warrior.” It fits Noah to a T. He screams about evvvverything. Oh boy.

Connor and I have also been doing our best not to take this time for granted. We have very much enjoyed our quiet evenings together after Noah is in bed. I know we won’t have many of those after we add a newborn into the mix. I love sleep and sanity, and I am LOVING that I have both at the moment. I realize those luxuries will pass. And return. I hope.

Maybe next week I will be able to introduce you to the newest member of our family!! <3

A baby belly and a teething toddler

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This is literally how we spent the later part of our afternoon yesterday. I found out right after a particularly difficult breakfast, that Noah was pushing at least two molars through. Ouch.

He was a little trooper during an early playdate, but when we got home he let me know – he was in PAIN. Chewing on frozen washcloths just made him cry and tylenol did not seem to be making a dent in it. All he wanted was to be held.

So instead of vacuuming the floor (that really needed it), like I had told myself I would do that day, I sat down on the couch and I cuddled with my sweet boy.

If you know Noah, then you KNOW. This boy does not sit still. He is a steamroller of activity, almost constantly. So having uninterrupted time where he just wanted to be on my lap, was heaven for this mommy.

And it was extra special yesterday, because at 36 weeks pregnant, I had both of my little boys squished on my lap. Seeing Noah’s little hands wrapped around his brother’s home was precious. Then, when Noah snuggled in even more and rested his head next to where Micah had been kicking all day, my heart swelled to bursting.

How did I get so blessed?

I am so thankful for quiet little moments like those. Because parenting is hard. Hard, people! But it is the greatest gift I have ever been given, and moments like that bring everything into focus.

Taking the time to be his mother

I was sitting down, resting my swollen pregnant feet. Checking my email, scrolling through blogs, and generally enjoying my quiet Noah-free time. My mother (Nana) was playing with Noah in another room. After awhile I realized they had both been laughing themselves silly almost the whole time they were together. Instead of investigating, I stayed where I was. I was pretty sure my me-time was way more important than whatever they were discovering together.20140729-224544-81944269.jpg

He was learning how to somersault. He would stand up and bend over until his little head was resting on the ground. Then my mother would roll the rest of his body over. His squeals of joy were endless. He LOVED this new activity. My mother and my son did this again and again and again. Neither of them growing tired of it. My one-year-old even somersaulted by himself at one point. It was the most precious thing in the world. And, he will never somersault “for the first time” again.

I know all this because, eventually, I did get up. I peeked my head around the corner and beheld that heart-warming scene. I didn’t need to participate. But I did need to watch. I will hold in my heart that memory of those two dear faces, nearly tear-soaked with laughter, playing together on the floor.

It was goodness.

It was beautiful.

It was priceless.

Sometimes, getting “me-time” is very important. It invigorates and focuses me. I remember my priorities, my God, my purpose. But lately, I have been focusing too much on my alone time. There are a lot of things quickly coming up in our life that are consuming my thoughts (like baby #2’s arrival in a little over a month…), and it has become difficult to live in the moment. I don’t think a life lived entirely “in the moment” is good – we all benefit from some  planning and preparation – however, a life too planned is no life at all, in my opinion. Lately I have been spending most of my time making lists and very little of my time just letting Noah and I “be.” 20140729-224545-81945138.jpg

If I had been watching Noah that afternoon, I doubt we would have somersaulted together. I probably would have been trying to figure out which store to buy diapers at most cost-effectively while Noah played with a race car.

As I was watching this sweet scene and my heart was spilling over with joy, I realized that I am going to fast and too slow at the same time. I am looking into the future almost exclusively and spending all my time in the present preparing for the future. Yikes. What a mouthful.
But really, God told me he clothed the beautiful flowers and he feeds the carefree birds – He has ALWAYS done this and He ALWAYS will. So why do I dwell so much on making sure things are prepared, perfect and “ready”? Human nature I guess.

But I am writing this to keep myself accountable. I don’t want to miss special moments with my son because I am wrapped up in my head. I want to be fully with him most of the time. If I have to spend a few minutes thinking about legitimately important things, I am completely fine with that. However, I am going to focus my efforts (especially in the next few weeks before we add another member of our family) on loving my son (and husband!) without borders and being truly present.

I can’t believe I get to be this little guys mother. It is the biggest blessing I have ever received. It’s time I started acting that way.

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Sadie Sky Boutique

 

34 week bumpdate

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How far along are you?: 34 weeks. Ugh.

How I’m feeling: Super huge and uncomfortable. My energy levels have been pretty up, until last week. We were camping (a week without air conditioning. AH!) and I just felt completely drained the whole time. And no, I don’t think my one-year-old who has just discovered running has anything to do with that… ;)

Total weight gain: 27 pounds. BOOM. And it literally feels like it’s all in my stomach. I can still fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans and shorts (without zippering them, obviously.) Last time I gained a ton of weight everywhere so this feels quite a bit different.

How big is baby?: Baby is the size of a cantaloupe and about 4.75 pounds.

This week baby: He is developing his lungs this week and putting on the pounds. At our last doctors appointment he was still breach, but a few days ago he spent the evening doing death rolls and the shape of my stomach changed drastically that next morning so I believe he is head down now. Yay!

Maternity clothes: Meh. Kind of. It’s so hot right now that I’m wearing the minimal amount of clothes possible. It’s usually a raggedy old cut-off t-shirt and PJ shorts. I am one hot mama lately. ;)

Sleep: I haven’t been sleeping fantastically. Some nights it’s because Noah is waking up (teething??). Other nights it’s because my brain refuses to slow down. But I am getting enough, and I am very thankful for that.

Best moment this week: Being at church camp with my family. I missed Connor (who had to stay home and work) like crazy, but was so thankful to have his support in going. Noah had a crazy awesome time. He was probably over stimulated all week, what with all the people and the huge amount of space he was allowed to play in. but it was SO worth it.

Movement: He kicks and squirms almost constantly. It is so special! I love feeling him. :)

Food cravings: I want to eat laundry soap. No kidding. Every time I smell laundry, I have to stop and inhale the goodness for a few minutes. It is completely insane. But I can’t get over the smell. Mmmmmm.

Food aversions: None

Belly button in or out: An outie that I cannot hide.

What I am thankful for: We have a home. We have food on the table every night. Our babies are healthy. God is so good and so faithful. I have absolutely nothing to complain about.

What I’m looking forward to: Micah will be arriving in a few short weeks!! I am definitely far from ready – but I am SO excited to meet this little guy!!!

 

 

26 week bumpdate

Well hey there! It’s that time again…

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How far along are you?: 26 weeks. Woah.

How I’m feeling: I have nothing to complain about. Minor sciatic nerve pain, but nothing that’s keeping me down! My energy level is up and so is my excitement to meet Mr. Micah.

Total weight gain: 18 lbs and feeling good about it. My overall weight gain goal (or hope) was 25-30 lb so I’m still on track for that. YAY! I walk a couple times a week  and hopefully will walk every day once we’re settled into our new home.

How big is baby?: Baby is an eggplant!

This week baby:  Little buddy is almost 2 lbs! His eyes have completely formed and will open soon. He is a very active baby. He takes little catnaps throughout the day but spends most of his time rearranging my organs with his feet. ;)

Maternity clothes: Yep. Stretchy shirts and maternity jeans. I do have a pair of regular jean shorts I still fit in…but I have to wear really long shirts because I can neither button or zipper them. So. I’m saying that counts as non-maternity. Winning.

Sleep: Noah, Micah and I are all sleeping like rocks. Amen.

Best moment this week: We got a time set up to sign our lease papers and will move in next week! Have I mentioned that God is good? He is. We had been looking for a place to live for over a month when we found the dreamy little condo we will call our own next week. It is a two story, two bedroom, two bathroom. WHAT?! Yeah, this girls excited. ALSO – I finally get to unpack the 20 or so boxes that have been sitting in storage since last June. Biiiig sighs of happiness over here.

Movement: Like I said, he is either a boxer or a black belt.

Food cravings: Macaroni and cheese. With hotdogs. Or Cheetos and pickles (at the same time in the same bite.).

Food aversions: Nada.

Belly button in or out: Innie that thinks they’ll become an outie any day now.

What I am thankful for: Getting to spend quality time with my family before moving, Noah’s adorable personality, and FaceTime.

What I’m looking forward to: Moving in!!!!!! Unpacking boxes!!!! Decorating!!!!