Today was Connor’s birthday. It was 9 o’clock last night that I had to blink back tears as I realized I didn’t have a party planned, I didn’t have a present prepared, and that I was too exhausted to fix either of those things.
Time runs right past me – much more often than I’d like to admit.
So, feeling like a complete failure, I woke up the next morning and packed my husband’s lunch. I tried making him chicken burritos – his absolute favorite lunch – and ended up overcooking the chicken. Like. Reeeaally overcooking it. Have you ever boiled chicken for 30 minutes? Yeah….me either….
But I wrapped and packed them anyways. I didn’t have time to remake them. I did, however, have bacon leftover from breakfast so I was able to sprinkle those little gems in the burritos. A small win.
Then I kissed my birthday boy goodbye and watched him walk to his car. He has been working so hard since we moved here. And he has been totally selfless about it. If I ever start to talk about feeling guilty for not working, he stops me and won’t hear another word of it. He wants me to be home, raising our children and managing our household.
That is the greatest blessing he has ever given me. I will never take it for granted. And even if I do end up having to go back to work at some point, I will not be bitter. The time I have now is just precious. And challenging.
After he drove off to work, I turned around and faced my kitchen. Dishes from last night and this morning. Then Noah woke up and the rest of the day was his.
Some days I have found myself incredibly motivated to clean, budget, and coupon – but completely unable to follow through with any of it, because my son needs me. All day. Today was one of those days. I wanted everything to be perfect for Connor when he walked through the door after work. It wasn’t.
What he did come home to was a crying mostly naked baby (who had just peed on the floor) and no dinner. I actually still had to run to the store to get a few last minute things for dinner, but hadn’t been able to get things together to leave the house up until that point.
But I got a smile and hug. He said the burritos I packed him for lunch were delicious. Then he took over playing with Noah while I rushed to Walmart.
Connor and I didn’t sit down to eat until 7:45. But Noah was fed and fast asleep, our new portable air-conditioning unit was shooting ice cold air into our faces, and turkey lettuce wraps were steaming on the table.
My husband was happy. So I was happy. I told him I was sorry I didn’t have a present for him and he said that being able to eat his favorite dinner with his wife was the best present he could have asked for.
When I brought out his favorite dessert (chocolate butterscotch cereal bars), he went crazy. He made me feel like the best wife in the world (and there’s really no question that I am absolutely NOT the best wife in the world…).
Our night ended perfectly with one episode of Misfits (yes, we’re obsessed.) followed by a clean and made bed.
Sometimes, days go much much better than expected. And sometimes, I realize just how blessed I am by my husband.