HE is bigger

If you read my Five on Friday  post last week you would have picked up that our little family is in for a big change.

After living in South Dakota for a year, creating precious memories with Noah and his grandparents, and living in one bedroom (specifically, the bedroom I lived in during high school)… Connor, Noah, Baby B #2, and I are moving.

The first two years of our marriage (pre-kiddos) Connor and I lived in Colorado Springs and absolutely adored it. We moved to South Dakota for a lot of reasons…mainly because I freaked out and decided there was no way we could afford a baby or love a baby well enough. So we moved in with my parents. The plan was for my mother to watch Noah during the day while Connor and I worked full time and put money away/paid off loans. What ended up happening was Connor and I worked, my mother watched Noah, and we had months of crazy and very high medical bills. Half of them for Noah’s birth (don’t get me started on THAT insurance fiasco…) and the other half for this fiasco. Then there was the whole getting pregnant with baby # 2 and the costs associated with that…then we traded our little two door Honda for a more family friendly Jeep Cherokee…then, last week, that Jeep had an emotional breakdown and now refuses to be driven over 60 mph until we deposit quite a bit of our paychecks into it.  And my brothers college graduation is next week, in Malibu.

I realize you’re not reading my little blog because you want to hear me whine…so close your eyes for a sec…WHEN did life get so darn EXPENSIVE?!

I have listened to Dave Ramsey’s class on financial freedom and I do our budget religiously. But being a good steward of our money is hard. Really hard. I would love to say that Connor and I have put our money exactly where it should be going and we have built a better financial future for ourselves…but that wouldn’t be totally honest. We haven’t made much headway on our loans and our goal of having a $1000 emergency fund is far from being fulfilled.

All this to say, we are moving soon and reality is going to hit hard. Don’t get me wrong — it is a very good thing that Connor and I will be in our own home/apartment/whatever. But being able to live with my parents for Noah’s first year has been an incredible blessing. I have memories I will never forget from this time. Noah is such a happy baby, and while a lot of that is his personality, I do partly attribute that to the love my parents have given him during this time. But it’s time for me to shake off my fears and get serious about my roles in life.

I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter…and MOST importantly, I am a follower of Christ. I cannot wait to for Connor and I to be in our own space but I am terrified of what this change will mean for our finances and for Noah.

But that fear has been crippling me. I have not acted as boldly as I should have in my roles, because I live in fear more often than I live in freedom.




Jesus and scripture is the remedy friends. I know this with all my heart but I tend to wait until the last minute to act on it.



 So I am stepping forward into this move with a happy heart. I am trusting God and, while I will mourn the loss of this time with my parents, I will rejoice in this new season of life with my husband.

God is so good. And so much bigger than my fears.

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