Fears

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This past week has been a challenge for me. A lot of change is quickly coming up in Connor and my life. Change gives me crazy anxiety and makes me much more prone to being overcome with all of my fears.

Let’s sit down for coffee for a minute or two and get to know each other…My fears can absolutely control me at times. I am ashamed of that. I don’t want to sit by and let that be my reality. So, I am going to confess my fears to you, in hopes that it will help keep me accountable to giving them up to God, each and every time I start to feel overwhelmed by them. I hope I am not alone in some of them. What are they, you ask? Well…

———

I fear failing as a mother.

I fear I will never be able to keep up with the laundry.

I fear being a stay at home mommy. What if I’m not good enough at it to justify not working?

I fear not being a stay at home mommy. What if I am not there enough for my children?

I fear change.

I fear any sort of financial ripples. Any unplanned purchase/expense sends me into hysterics (well, maybe not that extreme, but close).

I fear budget failure. I do the numbers in our family and while I’m really good of calculating things and putting money in the right places on paper – I am just as good at spending it in the places that aren’t “on paper.”

I fear death by a car accident. And by plane. Majorly.

I fear getting gi-normous this pregnancy and never being able to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I fear that the choices Connor and I think are divinely-led, are just our own desires.

——-

And those are just a few.

I do not want to be controlled by fear. I want a life of freedom! I know I already have access to a life without burdens. Christ has taken care of that for me. But it is SO SO easy for me to forget. These verses remind me and give me peace in times like these:

Psalm 55:22
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Am I alone in this struggle to find peace amidst the crazy? Does change overwhelm any one else out there? Do you have any tips on letting your fears go?

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2 thoughts on “Fears

  1. I totally get it. I have major fears too, mostly around the future. What if I’m a terrible mom? What if one of us loses our jobs and we can’t afford to live anymore? What if I die tomorrow? All that’s natural though, because the unknown is scary, and we can easily psych ourselves out. I try to get out of it by reminding myself that everything has a plan and happens for a reason, so it’s a waste of my emotional energy to worry.

  2. Thanks for being honest about your fears- I totally get it. I almost posted the other day about my crazy fear of death. I think, for me, it boils down to forgetting God- his Sovereignty, goodness, grace, and love. I am often in need of leaning into the truth more. May Jesus encourage you heart tonight and give you peace as you trust in him :)

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